The seemingly nonsequitur trail of vaporous evidence left by the Dublon epidemic invariably contributed to the naming of a certain, mysterious comet seen streaking through the parking lot of an airport rental facility in the Midwestern United States within approximately the same time-frame as the outbreak was occurring in Micronesia and other parts of the world. It had been a relatively ordinary morning by aviation standards until, upon receiving word of the anomalous comet, the FAA decided to cancel all flights nationwide, including the giant metallic bird known as Pan-Pacific Flight 117, bound for Singapore via El Fornio, which was not only never cleared for take-off, but remained grounded on the runway for over a month. The crew and passengers were quarantined for precautionary reasons and, over the next 30-plus days, were relegated to surviving on a choice of either the Salisbury steak, coleslaw, and butterscotch pudding, or the Caesar salad with/without chicken, macaroni, and raspberry tart. Delivered by an orange uniformed HAZMAT team of eleven, emergency survival rations (ESRs) were sealed individually in easily opened and resealable polyvinyl bags that looked as cool as they were functional and had originally been intended for Japanese astronaut, Kimo, who was to be the first chimpanzee to land on Mars, but when Kimo developed Dublonis-like symptoms during launch preparations, including a shortening of the forward limbs and irritable bowel syndrome, thus limiting his abilities as an astrophysics engineer, and as a marsupial, the countdown was halted at T-minus 31:17: 03, less than two days after Flight 117* was grounded halfway across the globe (*note the numerological coincidence between the Pan-Pacific flight number and the middle digits of the aborted countdown time... cosmic happenstance or evidential circumstance? Either way it is phenomena that has had the medicine, science and conspiracy theorist communities in wonder of the nature of these events ever since). Kimo was quarantined for observation, delaying the launch indefinitely, and providing international tabloid fodder for many weeks thereafter. Upon hearing of Flight 117's dilemma, the Prime Minister of Japan overnighted the special, designer ESR bags to the US as a gesture of international relief in the spirit of good will, prosperous trade, and a practical sense of fashion between the two countries in the face of adversity. Kimo, who had undergone intensive response-conditioning with the ESR bags, which incidentally glow in the dark, misconstrued reports in the local media, and came to the disgruntled conclusion that his food had been deported to North America because, as he put it to a zoological translator, [that] "...a plane full of peanut eaters must be more important than a chimp with an itchy butt who can't get his rocket up...." Under fiercely militant quarantine supervision by various Japanese aerospace agencies, the once happy-go-lucky Kimo, who had been so close, both literally and figuratively, to achieving interplanetary stardom, instead spiraled deeper into a bitter depression of obscurity as he watched events unfold from his containment chamber on a closed circuit monitor. Kimo became subject to classically manic mood swings, bouts of incrementally intensified scratching (which became increasingly frustrating and difficult due to the shortening of his forward limbs), and finally began a hunger strike, insisting on only watching reruns of his favorite situational comedy from the 80s, The Facts of Life, which would sadly end his own, but eventually inspire scientists, touched by his memory, to carry on his legacy in the naming of that mysterious comet known today as Kimo-Dublon 117. The crew and passengers of Flight 117 all survived, and to this day, survivors, friends, relatives, and fans of The Facts of Life (including Mr. Drummond himself) make an annual pilgrimage to the resting place where Kimo made his final landing, got his wish, and reached the stars.

"You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have... the facts of life. The facts of life! [repeat ad infinitum]" - The Facts of Life

~ Dr. Duramater Penumbra, Researcher

Click here for more information on Kimo, Kimo's resting place, and the yearly pilgrimage to his resting place.